Diverse your identity

Last week I was attending a seminar on art of life in Chandigarh, India. I don’t remember the spoke person. After the seminar there was a Q&A session. In that a middle aged man in the audience stood up and confessed that he was suicidal. He was a sales guy, a very good. He made a fortune. His entire life he had been successful and made a lot of people a lot of money.
And then one day he lost it all.

That man pour his heart out in front of 2000 other people.

When asked, his reasoning for wanting to kill himself was that his life insurance policy would pay enough to support his wife and children after he was gone, whereas if he stayed alive, his family would be saddled by debt and left broke. When spokesperson threw out the obvious point that while his kids would grow up with financial stability, they wouldn’t have a father, the man calmly asserted, “Yes, exactly. That’s the idea.”

What immediately strikes you is this man’s dumbfounding belief that his kids need financial stability more than a living father. And it’d be easy to blame him as a loony.

But when I took a moment and empathize with him and dig a bit deeper into his motivation, I discover something important about his self-perception:
This man perceives the value of his own life to be nothing more than financial.

He has no sense of value in himself as a father, husband, friend, companion, not to mention any other skills or hobbies. It’s not just that he thinks his kids would be better off with money than with him, it’s that he believes his only value as a person is his ability to make money.

This man had never invested himself with his roles as a father, a husband, a friend, a colleague — he had invested all of him (time and effort) in making money and becoming rich. Then once his wealth vanished, so did his entire sense of self.

What I am trying to say is pretty simple, let me put it this way:

When you have money, it’s always smart to diversify your investments. That way if one of them goes off, you don’t lose everything. It’s also smart to diversify your identity, to invest your self-esteem and what you care about into a variety of different areas — business, social life, relationships, philanthropy, athletics — so that when one goes off, you’re not completely screwed over and emotionally wrecked.

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Let’s say you’re a well-balanced individual with a successful career, a spouse, some cool hobbies, and you enjoy reading in your spare time. But in reality your career dominates your identity. You work so much that you have little with which to relate to your spouse other than work. Your hobbies all involve your coworkers. Your reading relates to your career. You have no diversity. And therefore your emotional stability and self-esteem is at risk.

If you invest all of your identity in one basket, then you put your self-esteem and emotional well-being at risk.

What do you care about? I mean, what do you really care about? Invest yourself in a wide range of areas. If you like music, start attending concerts or learn an instrument. Don’t just travel as a vacation, but invest in learning about the cultures. Learn a new language. Make time for old friends. Pick up new hobbies. Get competitive in something. Expand yourself beyond your work and your relationships. Go out for no other reason than to be with your friends. Learn how to dance. Take some time off work.

And don’t just do something else, but care about it, invest yourself in it.

P.S – I wanted to ask all my reader, just imagine you have got everybody attention, the whole world looks up to you. Would you step up and inspire?
Its easy to say yes but think deeply and answer. The floor is all yours.

25 Comments Add yours

  1. ifrlicious says:

    This is so beautiful. Sucha positive n thought provoking article it is.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Rishi kinger says:

      Thanku so much

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Nícia says:

    Those are all great advices. I never thought this way. And you might have helped me solve one of my problems. So thank you from the deepest of my heart. 🙂

    Have the best day ever,

    Nícia ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Rishi kinger says:

      I am really pleased ! Same to you and thanku

      Liked by 1 person

  3. gingerfunk78 says:

    Every time I have asked my dad to borrow money and I Apologize, he has this way of saying, “good thing it’s just money” I love this saying because it really makes me think about my values. Think about what is meaningful to me in life. Great post. Thanks.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. stacilys says:

    I think this poor guy’s value systems were messed up. He placed his identity and importance in his ability to make a lot of money and have a lot of money. I think he, as a man, thought that his priority as a husband and father was to financially provide for his family (which is a natural trait in men). Who knows what his upbringing was like? Who knows what he was taught as a child? Who knows what constructed his worldview? At any rate, he, along with sooooooo many the world over, are suffering the consequences of fragmentation and brokenness.
    As for me, I have a worldview that is entirely different than what shaped me as a child up to adulthood. But that comes because of some major radical decision I made. People construct their identity off of many different things. I choose to enjoy the simple things of life. The things that don’t cost, nor require money. Even the monotony of the day to day brings me joy. And I say that because my identity is not found in what I do, but in who I am. Who I am as and individual made in the image of a creative God. I love, enjoy and invest in my family. I love to create and blog, and so I invest in that. I love that I have a purpose and significance here during my short few years here on this Earth. What more can I say.
    Excellent post Rishi. You have touched on a very important topic that is global and reaches into the minds and hearts of all humankind.
    Have a wonderful weekend.
    🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Rishi kinger says:

      Thanks a lot ! Great thought and same to you

      Liked by 1 person

  5. You could not be more right about this!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Rishi kinger says:

      Hahah thanks a lot

      Like

  6. spartacus2030 says:

    I’ve functioned both as a public speaker, actor, and an entertainer… The odd thing was that I am shy by nature, yet was able to overcome my fear of facing a live audience, only because I believed in what I was doing or speaking about, and for no other reason. Everyone is afraid they’ll present trash and humiliate themselves. I ask myself the question: ‘Will I ever see these people again?’ ‘Have people even humiliated themselves before?’ And stuff like that there, so I can convince myself I worry for nothing, really. I thoroughly enjoyed your article! It certainly gives people something to think about, as far as expanding one’s horizons are concerned… Great topic!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Rishi kinger says:

      Thanks a lot really. You just reminded me of myself

      Like

  7. daringheart1 says:

    Wish I had read this in high school or college! 🙂 Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Rishi kinger says:

      Thank you and don’t worry everyday is a new start.

      Like

  8. enovashan says:

    Thanks for visiting my blog. And liking my very first post in here 🙂
    I agree with the post, and being a Solutions Consultant, in technical terminology we called that person is to be multi-Skilled. I agree with Pooja and sam1128 with their feedbacks. But a personality needs more than just skills to be diversified, thats the result, not the action or thought build up in one’s self. You just gave me the idea to write on it. So wait for it 🙂
    Peace
    I.A.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Rishi kinger says:

      Looking forward to it!

      Like

  9. rohinikunnathu says:

    Struck a chord with me. It really matters as what we consider as our identity and whether we do not even know ourselves completely and what we are capable of.

    Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Rishi kinger says:

      So true. Thank you

      Like

  10. sam1128 says:

    Love the article. I would say first invest in yourself. You need to love and understand yourself to invest in sucessful relationships with others.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Rishi kinger says:

      Yes, thanks for reading

      Like

  11. Pooja says:

    Wow!
    Your post is really amazing in this competitive world we all are so much busy in making money, as student making career, and making name and fame. If this run we all lost ourself some where. We lost what we dream in childhood, we forget how to smile freely and the most important thing is we forget our dream in pursuing others expectation. Thank you for wonderful post.
    If whole world look at me and I got chance to inspire I would say them: Just forget about world and not think what Other will think about you just follow your dream and do whatever you wish without thinking too much.
    And very important is happiness is nothing to pursuit, it is inner satisfaction. You are happy if you are what you are without any restriction. And if you are happy your world is fantastic.
    🙂 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Rishi kinger says:

      Yeah totally agree with you, thanks for sharing and reading.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Pooja says:

        Thanks post such inspiring post

        Like

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